We knew it all along...

Oh, I don't wanna leave.
I just wanna lay here,
And watch you breathe.
Don't know what happened,
Things got out of hand.
I haven't been myself lately.
My thoughts are wandering.

Your eyes, I'm drowning in your eyes.
You're out of reach.
And I can't help myself.

It's a lie, we knew it all along.
Love is gonna die, we're gonna die young.

Fool, I'm not looking for love.
I told you that I just wanna dance.
In the mornings, you stay a little too long.
And your eyes they glow a little too much.
Warning signs at last
You're lost, and I can't save you now.

It's a lie, we knew it all along.
Love is gonna die, we're gonna die young...


We knew it all along.. we knew that things wouldn't last..that it was going to end eventually. And though both of us had hopeful hearts, though both wished somewhere deep within that we could stay like this forever.
We knew it all along...

Toxic

With a taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
You're toxic, I'm slipping under
With a taste of poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic?
And I love what you do
Don't you know that you're toxic?

I am utterly in love with what Yael Naim did to Britney's Toxic. It make chills travel down my spine...


On another note, I've been extremely lethargic and tired as of late. My body is evidently aching for exercise. Just two weeks left of school and I will begin a workout regimen because this is just getting ridiculous. I sleep more than 8 hours a day and somehow I still manage to be tired. I have zero energy. No stamina...zelch. There exist this deep yearning to run a freaking marathon. Though I know I wouldn't last a quarter mile, the desire is definitely in me! Two more weeks people and then it's muscle time...8)

Pre-Thanksgiving

As we approach Thanksgiving Day, I can't help but begin to assess what I am thankful for this year. It has been quite a year for me. Started the year with a wonderful trip to California. Experienced a major bump in the road with the ending of my long-term relationship in April. Miraculously transformed my life by evolving my state of mind. Healed from the pain and found peace within by the end of summer. Awesome trip to Miami with the ladies in August. Applied and interviewed for med school by November. Currently maintaining my grades. Graduating in three weeks. Life is pretty damn goooooood.

On top of all these events and happenings, I can't forget how grateful I am for my mother, my family, my friends, my church community (esp. the kids), the list goes on.
What a necessary holiday, a day to sit back, eat well, and think of all the wonderfulness we have been blessed with.

Thank you God!! ^_^ 

Oh, I also must say I'm quite thankful for being single. I was dreading the thought of being alone at first, but single sure does have its advantages. No commitment, no drama, so much freedom.. 8)

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food,
For love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends
-Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)


What are you thankful for this year?

Why Is You Negging?

According to urbandictionary.com, negging is a type of low grade insult meant to undermine the self-confidence of a woman so she might be more vulnerable to a male's advances.

An example:
Male: "Say girl, your nose is flat as a button...haha...it's so cute"
Female: "Uh...thanks?"
Female is now feeling quite self-conscious and confused.  Her reality is shaken because she can't believe someone just insulted her. She then has the innate desire to seduce him, she succeeds according to plan, the guy wins.
Let's not ever forget though that negging is a LOW GRADE way to get a lady's attention, regardless of how successful a guy may be at getting laid with the technique.

However, besides male-female interaction, I find that females also 'neg' other females.
Example:
Female #1: "OMG! That girl is so prettyy!!"
Female # 2: "Yeah, but her legs are short."
Female #1: "Um..okay? She's still pretty!"

Obviously, females aren't negging to make advances on other females, not the straight ones at least. Females neg other females in attempt of lowering the self-confidence of the opposing female. Basically, she is trying to level out with the other female. Hence, negging typically occurs when one female subconsciously thinks the other female is better than her so she has to neg to lower that female to her level. I've seen guys neg other guys too, it usually comes from an insecure place.

Well recently, I've been called crazy, weird, average jane, simple, boring, the list goes on. I honestly never knew how malicious females can be. One of my girlfriends blatantly tried to make me look promiscuous in front of other guys.

I'm not saying all females are like this. I also have girlfriends that are supportive and loving, never once said anything negative about me. These are the type of friends I intend to keep. This is a good learning experience for me nonetheless. I know to run if I ever catch another girl negging at me.

Pretty Girl Rock

This song is just one of the darlingest things I've ever seen. If you just listen to the song, it can sound kind of conceited, but the video is a whole different story. I love how Keri takes us through different eras and pays homage to these beautiful talented women throughout history. The 'pretty girl rock' is more than some booty-popping 'oh-I-am-the-so-hot' dance, it's embracing who you are as a female in this male dominating world. It's about walking the walk when you enter a room. It's the twinkle in our smiles. It's the quirks in our laughter. It's the aura of  our radiating positive confident energy. It's all about the extra care, details, and effort.

So ladies, next time you see a beautiful girl full of confidence, and you find yourself hating.
Please stop the jealousy.  We're all beautiful. Do the pretty girl rock! 8)

Insecurities Be Gone!

Though this song might be taking it to the extreme, I do feel that Christina has a point. What's her point? Fucking love yourself!
EVERYONE, yes I said it, EVERYONE is insecure to some degree. Let me tell you something people, stop! Insecurities are most easily sensed. It's irritating low, negative, self-destructing energy that can be detected from across the room. Let alone the people close to you. Have you ever questioned yourself? What reasons do you have to be insecure?
You are all you got. You might have friends, family, shelter, nice clothes, possessions, whatever. Those things can be taken away from you, you can be stripped clean. You, however, cannot be taken away from you. You will always be there for you.
Therefore, be the bestest friend you can be for yourself. Be supportive, loving, caring, encouraging, be whatever your little heart desires for yourself. Stop the nagging, the jealousy, the blaming, the victimizing, stop being a little bitch.


However, do not be a cocky self-asbsorbed ass just masking your insecurities by a utilizing an unnecessarily large ego. Be at peace with yourself, be grateful for who you are. Accept the components you cannot change about yourself, and improve the parts you can.  Just love yourself and be the best you can be...8)

Time to Share Good News

Halfway through... well more like almost there.. I had my interview today and I would say it went fairly well. The interviewers were really friendly. The interview was really laid back and conversational in style. Now it's just time to wait for THE LETTER.

I can't believe there's just three weeks left of school and I'll be done with undergrad FOREVER!!!! YIPPY!! Pretty proud of myself for getting out a semester early...

Then the best news of all, I'm going to be a ..GODMOTHER!!! My beautiful soon-to-be goddaughter's name is Neleh and she is getting baptized in December. I am so honored to have this privilege.

 

Just wanted to share my good news with you guys!!

If you know anyone that have questions about med school, feel free to give them my info. I would love to help anyone I can and share my knowledge now that I've gone through the process.

Oh, my birthday is coming up in two weeks!! I'll be turning 21 so no more fake ids!! YAY! lol 

Birthday-Neleh's Baptism-Graduation 

Ever so grateful for the life I've been given... and I owe it all to the good Lord above...

OH! Let's not forget about my favorite holiday coming up also- CHRISTMAS!! 

I know and you know too...

"And I know and you know too
that love like ours is terrible news..."



As I try to start my new life, a large part of me is still holding onto you.
What am I to do?
And as I'm falling in love with someone else, I'm not any less loving you. 
What am I to do?

Within Reach

Have you ever faced a situation where you can't have what you want? It's right there in front of you, within your reach, within the width of your arm span, all you have to do is reach out and hold on, but you can't.  I'm sure you have and I think we can all agree it's a miserable place to be in...the shallow breaths, the sweaty palms, the rapidly beating heart..the yearning.

Some people are so amazing, it's beyond what words can even describe.

One more month, one more month to see what happens. If I can't have you completely darling ...I don't want any part of you at all... 




Wake me up when it's over,
Wake me up when it's done,
When he's gone away and taken everything,
Wake me up.

Wake me up when the skies are clearing,
When the water is still,
'cause I will not watch the ships sail away so,
Please say you will.

If it were any other day,
This wouldn't get the best of me.

But today I'm not so strong,
So lay me down with a sad song,
And when it stops then you know I've been,
Gone too long.

But don't shake me awake,
Don't bend me or I will break,
Come find me somewhere between my dreams,
With the sun on my face.

I will still feel it later on,
But for now I'd rather be asleep.

Everyone Deserves a Chance

What do I wish to acquire in life?
The strength to love everyone regardless of their background or character.
Love is more than a belief or a set of pretty words, it involves action.
Sure..it makes us feel good to say we love someone to appear like the bigger person. However, if we do not show the love, our words mean nothing more than some self-absorbed mechanism of justifying 'I'm a good person, I love them, but...'
Pure bullshit if actions aren't there to back up your claim.
Regardless of one's history, have faith in them. Life is filled with opportunities to change/improve and having supportive people in one's life can initiate the first step.
Therefore, everyone deserves a chance, maybe even multiple chances because sometimes all someone needs is another person to believe in them. If I want to do that for someone, I have to stop judging and start encouraging, stop speaking and start acting.