Friday, April 29, 2011


It's currently 4:00 am. I have to wake at 9:30 am. I am no where near shut eyes.

Let's talk about life...

Recently I've picked up a serving job in a small town sushi restaurant. It's been a while since I worked, basically since high school. I always wanted to wait tables because I heard it's a challenging job along with fast cash. In desperate need, I called a good friend to hook me up with the job. Trained for about 1.5 weeks and then I was thrown into the wild.

What they say about the serving industry is true to a certain extent...but most people make it sound worst than what it really is. Yes, you run into ALL kinds of people. Sometimes horrible, mean, shitty tipping bastards. But the majority of your customers will tip you at least 15% on average, usually more. I run into more friendly people but of course bad experiences are more easily remembered. It's good money at the end of the day, even when you have to put up with 10% of your crap customers.

Money aside, you learn A LOT. It truly is a humbling experience. Since it's my first time serving, I cannot deny that I make quite a bit of mistakes. Given that I have gotten a lot better, there's still much to learn. For example, today a woman ordered a steak and it wasn't cooked to her liking. I apologized and talked to the chef...yeah no help. In short, I just apologized and did nothing about it. It was such a busy night I also forgot her soup. After she paid and left, what remained was a quarter and a note: NOT AT ALL HAPPY WITH YOUR SERVICE. EVEN AFTER SOMETHING WAS SAID ABOUT THE STEAK. WILL NOT BE COMING BACK.

I was so upset...not because she left that message...but because I failed at my job. At first I was angry, defense mechanism..totally normal. Then I was saddened, because I couldn't believe I made someone unhappy, that someone was not pleased with my service. Headed home, tears held back.

After a shower I realized that though it hurts to have someone say those things to me. I would have never learned otherwise. My service was truly horrible and she was doing me a favor by having the balls to tell me. Sure, she could have done it in a nicer way, but that's the reality of life. Never in a million years would I imagine to find myself thinking in such a manner. Taking the blame in full accountability. Accepting all faults and moving on.

Lesson learned?

In life, lessons are often learned through mistakes. And those mistakes won't be easy on the heart and soul, but healthy for the improvement of the mind.

I can't say I love my job, but it's teaching me quite a bit.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Hairy Mess

Just got done scheduling a hair appointment for Saturday afternoon! This girl here charges $60 and she better be worth every freaking penny! Wish me luck...will post pictures soon. 8) 

Sunday, April 24, 2011

I'm so ready for a major alteration in environment. More than ready, desperate. I want to see new architecture...heck, new crown molding! I've lived here practically my whole life. It's time. Time to explore the world. Time to be on my own. Time to see new things, experience new things, meet new people.

I get more irritated and frustrated day by day...same faces, same voices, the same people. I'm grateful for the current stability, but this stagnant part of my life needs to quicken to an end. I'm tired, bored, becoming restless with the same ole same ole.

LIFE! Where are your new days? New tomorrows? Fresh starts and new beginnings?

Friday, April 22, 2011

On the mornings I get to wake up to his scent and presence, my God, I just know I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I feel so blessed and lucky to have him. I never knew such a type of love existed. When I look at him, it's like nothing else in the world matters, just me and him...a warmth in my heart arises, my breath shallows. His face in focus and the rest a blur. When he wraps his arms around me, I feel unimaginably safe and secure. If the world ended then and there, I would surely die a happy peaceful death. 

I know I try to rationalize every aspect of my life and I may come off a bit cold, but there is no logical explanation for this thing between the two of us. I can happily surrender to the unknown...

Monday, April 18, 2011

The Other Half's Luck

...okay more than half, more like 60%. I would say meeting the right guy is about 60% luck, 20% timing, and 30% patience.
It's about not settling.
It's about eliminating immediately the people that would waste your time.
It's about sticking to the standards you've created for yourself. 
You see...we all get a little bit lonely sometimes and we tend to cling onto the very next person that makes a move. Building a human connection isn't that hard people, why do we tear up when Mufasa was cruelly murdered by his evil jerk brother? A freaking cartoon lion on the television screen! Because we're humans, we're compassionate, understanding, empathetic, loving creatures...for the most part. If we can hurt for a cartoon lion, we can definitely and easily develop feelings for another human being that may not necessarily be meant for us. Therefore, we must not even allow those people into our lives or else we'll be fighting a battle that's was long over from the get go. Then we'll waste the next couple of years of our lives trying to love and stick to a person we quite don't understand nor get along with.
Years wasted, time wasted, love wasted.

While I was single last year, did I get lonely at times? Sure. Could I have called up a guy to find temporary comfort? Sure. Did I? Absolutely not.

People may try to hook you up with others. People may try to convince you that you and so-and-so are so perfect together. You may try to convince yourself. But if that person does not meet your criteria, don't even think about it!

Follow your own heart, march to the beat of your own drum... this is your life.
Be patient, have faith, and PRAY. LOL. He's out there somewhere, I promise.

Just remember having a connection with someone is easy, wanting to spend the rest of your life with them is hard. So before you decide to commit or give your heart to someone, could you imagine potentially loving this person to pieces fifty years down the line? If the answer is yes, give it a shot. If no, say bye-bye.

I really liked this song when I heard it for the first time last summer. Listening to it again while in love with the ong gia gives it a whole new dimension. Oh how beautiful is it that love can change the way we see the world...everything in life seems so much richer.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Nobody's Perfect

I promise baby I will try my best to speak with consideration. I have the worst habit of running my mouth without thinking and I hate that my words could cause you so much pain. I am so grateful to have an understanding partner like yourself. Thank you for being patient and taking the time to understand my true intentions. Nobody's perfect, but I will try my damnest to treat you with the best of my capabilities.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

You Make Me Wanna Say..

I do...

We are soon approaching the four month mark and I am amazed at what we have established thus far. I am absolutely in love with you in every way. I've never felt this way before. Never been happier in my life. I thank the Lord for you every single day and night. I no longer desire the finer or bigger things in life. I don't care for a big rock or a fancy wedding. You've changed the way I view life so much for the better. Our love is all I need...all I want.
Though we have quite a bit of time before marriage is even in the picture, I can so see us spending our lives together.

I'm stupid crazy excited for what's in store for us. I love you baby!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Aurora Borealis

I haven't got the chance to witness the northern lights just yet, but I imagine I would experience a similar feeling to when the ong gia holds me...simply breathtaking.
Definitely up there on my bucket list.

Monday, April 11, 2011



A disastrous combination, a most difficult task at hand. But any love worth having is a love worth fight for. 

It's easy to give up when it gets tough. Easy to build a wall around my heart. Easy to put up a 'NO BS' policy. No... I don't want to fear life and all its obstacles. I don't want to hide or run away. I don't want to have regrets. No looking back and wishing I would have done things differently.

No matter what our future holds, at least I know I gave it my all. I didn't know you were capable of causing me so much pain, but I will try my best to forgive. I know I may hate myself if I don't give us another chance.

I don't want to appear normal on the surface but really be broken inside because of my pride or ego. I love you very much and I want nothing more than for us to work out.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

My excruciatingly temporary and fragile are our very existence...
Breathing one moment and dead the next...
In love one moment and hated the next...
Happy one moment and sad the next...
Together one moment and broken the next...
Forever-ever? There's simply no such thing.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

I am so madly, deeply, insanely in love with you...

                ...and I'm on my way to believing...

Friday, April 1, 2011