Friday, May 6, 2011

I Need You

"...sweet attention, love and tenderness, when it's real, it's unconditional.."

I couldn't agree more with Miss Keys!! If you can listen to this song and not fully understand her words, you haven't found the right person yet.

As beautiful and wonderful as love may be, I find it to be one of the most terrifying things in the universe. This thing...this multi-dimensional unexplainable thing we call love- scares me shitless. The lack of control over my emotions, the dependency on my beloved, the near death experience I feel when we spend some time apart. It's all a bit overwhelming to say the least.

What's so scary about it?
Well, the scary thing is waking up in the morning and thinking...
I can't imagine life without him.
What would I ever do without him?
How can I ever live without him?
I can never be without him.
I need him.

And everyday you pray..
You pray that nothing will ever take him away, that nothing will ever give him a change of heart, that nothing shall ever harm him.You pray that he'll always be there, right beside you. And you pray that he will love you silly as you have loved him.

I'm not a commitment phobe, far from it actually. But I sometimes feel like giving up on our relationship because I am so afraid to get hurt. Because I'm afraid to be so dependent on someone else. So afraid that if he gets taken away from me, I wouldn't know how to let go of the pain.

That is until he gave me the reassurance I needed:
"... and I need you. That's what makes life so beautiful. People spend their whole lives looking for someone they need, someone they can't live without. We're lucky to have each other..."

So yes..I need him and I'm okay with that.

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