Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I'm good...I'm good

Yesterday all my teachers posted my grades and let's just say I am more than pleased to see that I have accomplished my goal. I will be graduating LSU with a 4.0 in 3.5 years. Journey wasn't easy. There were many nights of studying involved and tears that shed when I doubted myself or thought I lost the battle. Surprisingly, I wasn't as happy as I imagined myself. I honestly thought I would bounce off the wall, instead I just smiled.

It goes to show that we can't depend on external factors to make us happy. Without expecting our  environment to make us happy, we don't live a life of disappointments when things go wrong. That's not to say you can't allow your environment to bring you happiness, just don't be dependent on it.

Nonetheless, I am utterly proud of myself and thank the people that have inspired and encouraged me along the way when I felt like giving up.

Onto other happenings in my life, I am also proud to say for once in my life, I do not dread being single one bit. Just months (maybe even weeks) ago I kept wondering who the next mate will be but I have come to realize that 1.) I don't have time for a boyfriend since I might move 2.) I haven't been single long enough and still need time to myself 3.) this is my last chance for freedom before I head onto bigger and better things in life. Those are more than enough reasons to convince me that being single is the best status for myself. I think people confuse single with loneliness. Singledom is an essential time to learn how to be on your own. Sure, I might get lonely at times but I need to see for myself that I can be independent of others.

People also confuse single with abstinence. No. Single does not equate to sexless. Single just means no strings attached. Of course, single people do not have the luxury of a partner that is ATF (available to fuck) anytime, but single people have every right as the taken person to have sex as they wish. People shouldn't judge because it's really none of their business. At the same time, single people should understand that people will indeed judge.

The latest personal goal: to achieve core confidence. I often times allow what people say or do to me get under my skin. What other people say should not matter. People may be disrespectful towards me, but I'll save myself much anger and frustration if I develop core confidence so I don't let external factors bother me.

Oh I start working out tomorrow! WHOOP WHOOP! Excited!!

Sorry for the long post...it's been a while.


MaiZer said...

I agree with you on singledom 100%. Sometimes I miss it 'cause of that one summer. I never felt so carefree and happy in my life. But time doesn't stop for anyone and change is inevitable. I am happy that I have Liam of course, but sometimes I feel like I can be happier.

Wish you the best in life and I hope that we'll still keep in touch! You are so bubbly! And I love that about you. Keep being single cause you don't need another half. Not yet anyway =)

Phamtastic said...

So true that time doesn't stop and change is inevitable. I'm sure life will have plenty of challenges as well as gifts for me ahead. I'm sure that's what Liam is for you, a challenge yet an amazing gift as well 8).

Thank you so much Mai for your well wishes, they mean the world to me. If I get in LSU-New Orleans, we will definitely keep in touch. I would love to visit and play with Liam!!