What you see is what you get. I always ask people to either take me as I am or f--- off. It will take a miracle for me to even consider changing. I found that mentality has helped me eliminate a lot of BS people from my life. The ones that appreciate my personality are the only ones that deserve my time and effort. Life is just too short to bother entertaining unimportant people. As unbearable as I may be at times, I still have people that genuinely love and care for me.
So why am I so resistant to change? Simple: I am extremely grateful for who I am, for what God has blessed me. When you look at the world, a lot of people have it much worse. There are starving children, people born with birth defects, and people born with mental disabilities, etc. When I look in the mirror, I see my limbs, my eyes, my ears...nothing is missing. I reflect on my level of intelligence, nothing to complain about. I reflect on my personality, nothing to complain about. Sure, there are flaws here and there...but who doesn't have flaws? At the end of the day, I'm still happy with who I am. I am perfect.
However, every once in a while, I am proven otherwise. If anyone could give me a good enough reason to change, I would do it in a heartbeat. Like I said before, it's about being the best person I can be. Trust me, it doesn't happen often but when it does... it's a mini miracle.
A person can't just tell me, "Well you do X,Y, and Z. It's wrong" and expect me to change. My response to that is the middle finger.
I need information, evidence, proof to back up a claim. A better way to approach it is "Huong, you do X, Y, and Z. It's wrong b/c X, Y, and Z. It will improve your life if you change because X, Y, and Z." Complicated and tedious, maybe.. but so much more effective when dealing with stubborn people like myself.
A former lover of mine was explaining one of my biggest flaw in romantic relationships. It was really heart-breaking to hear that all the love, time, and effort was not enough to make up for this flaw. He went further to explain how people function better on positivity. That rewards are received better than punishment. He even explained how my future relationships will thrive if I was only willing to fix it. In the end, he finally convinced me that change would really improve my life.
I was completely shaken by it. I never realized the impact my behavior had on my lovers. Even though I felt like a failure...it was refreshing to recognize the need for change.
So as perfect as I think I am, I know there is plenty of room for improvement. It's just a matter of having the proof that change is needed...8)