if you won't save your own? -Jewel
In my life, I have known approximately 2-3 people that are really f--ked up. For the cases I have encountered, their mental instability was a result of an ex-lover that did major psychological damage aka mistreatment to the nth degree. I'm glad I haven't met more people like that because, in all honesty, I'm drawn to them.
Let me explain...
There exist this innate desire within me to care for the helpless and broken. It is such a disheartening feeling when I meet someone that is completely torn due to a past painful experience they can't let go of. They wear this deep scar with them everyday, living the present but somehow still stuck in the past. I just want to lend a hand, hold them, love them... somehow make them stronger. Like I mention it's an innate desire, and I have learned the hard way that it's best to stay away. Why?
Besides the fact that, well, they are messed up. There's very little another person can do to help. I have found that these individuals become so used to destructive relationships, they have a tendency to sabotage healthy ones and/or find comfort in more destructive relationships. Their reality is distorted, you are always wrong in their eyes. They will find something negative in everything and undermine all the good things you do for them. They seek revenge by trying to hurt others as their ex-lover has done to them. Sometimes, they recognize the need for change, but still wound up in that vicious cycle of self-destruction. Of course, we want to help others, especially those that are suffering, but it is very easy to get swept into their world...it's best not to enter.
You cannot help them if they do not want your help. You cannot love them if they do not want your love. You cannot save them if they do not want to be saved.
The most you can do is pray and hope that one day they will find the strength within to realize it's time to move on. It's time to let go and give life another chance.
This is my all-time favorite Michelle Branch song. 8)