Monday, August 16, 2010
Off My Chest
Typically, I do not snoop into people's business because I respect their privacy. However, there comes a time when you become a bit curious and it's just time to face reality. Plus, I guess if the information is provided by that person openly on the Internet, it really isn't snooping? Or I'm just telling myself that to feel better...
Well, life has been improving like I mentioned in the past several posts. It's all fine and dandy until you run into that one person that just gets under your skin. Then you find yourself in bed feeling like you don't know what because all you can do is stare at the ceiling. Pathetic shit, isn't it? You know you're holding something back but you're not quite sure what. That's when you telephone a bff, and before you can even try to make sense of reality, tears are flowing down your cheeks because he/she just told you what you've been denying to yourself all along.
"Girl...home boy is cheating."
"Girl...he is so over you."
"Girl...he's got a new girl."
Or in my case "Girl...you fell in love."
Sigh...falling in love. Three tragic words that holds the potential to completely transform your world: for better or worse. I tried so hard to deny the slightest possibility that I might have loved this guy. I tried to reason every angle. The timing was too short. He did nothing to deserve it. Maybe, it was lust. My God, every mere attempt was a failure. I just knew somewhere he's gone where most have never been. I couldn't explained why I cared excessively. I couldn't explain why I forgave easily. I couldn't explain why I couldn't just drop it and go on with my life. I've been in longer relationships where I left without an ounce of regret. With him, every time I left, a part of me wished it would have turned out different. Fortunately, another part of me knew I deserved better. It's sad that I couldn't be the girl I wanted to be for him. It's sad that the feelings were never returned. The good thing about falling in love is that you can fall out as well. In due time, I'm sure I'll find my way around it. Just have to get up from my fall and dust myself off.
Seeing him with another person, I couldn't be happier for him. Everyone deserves a happy home. Even if I couldn't be that for him, I'm glad he found someone that can. Now he has someone to respect and cherish. Someone to share his day with and make him happy. Now there are two people walking around smiling ear to ear because of one another and it's positive energy that the world needs.
Like old man Joe said from the movie Alfie- "There are two things I've learned in life: find someone to love and live everyday as if it were your last."
Live life like that and trust me... you'll feel complete...8)